Thoughts on miscarriage

I work at the specialist women’s hospital here in Western Australia We look after infertile women, pregnant women, women who do not wish to be fertile, all manner of gynaecology and menopause stuff and women for who pregnancy is not an easy ride.

I pass so many women going to and from and most don’t register more than a passing thought.

However, the other day, I was passing through E.D. and one girl caught my eye. Her partner was holding her hands and looking helpless, her eyes were red-rimmed, wet and swollen, her nose was running and she was trying hard not to cry; suddenly I was transported to this same place 22 years ago, when I was that girl.

Oh my Dear, it wouldn’t have helped if I had stopped and talked to you. The resentment towards the outside world, for whom life continues normally, when you are grief-stricken about your dead baby; nothing can take it away.

I promise you, the pain will lessen over time, but you will never forget the precious baby who is no more. Even now I can remember the dreams I had about and for, my baby girls, I was so ready for motherhood.

You will see pregnant women everywhere now, but you are no longer a member of that special group. The women you see pushing prams or the ones you see tiredly dealing with babies at the shopping centre, will only evoke a deep resentment. You won’t want to be who you are. You will feel so alone, but you are not. You are now a member of another club. It is not one that gets discussed much, but should you ever put out a feeler, you will find a family of women who KNOW. They will be the shoulders you need, they have borne your burden before you and have come out the other side.

grief

I hate to say it, but your partner won’t understand you either. He knows what has happened and he will try to understand and he will sympathise, indeed, he will be grieving as you are…but not like you. Your baby was a physical presence within you, a little being he never experienced in that way. Be kind to him, he will do his best to be supportive of you.

Sometimes I let my mind wander over the events of my “annus horribilis” (1992- just like the Queen). It was a dark year, filled with pain and longing, memorials and melancholy, it was 22 years ago. Without that year being as it was, I would not have my 20 year old son or my 16 year old daughter (I never imagined I would be blessed this way).

It will get better, I promise.

 

 

The Ruins of Music

jennyrecorder:

Thinking ’80s thoughts of clubbing in Northbridge (Western Australia), happy times :)

Originally posted on Archaeology and Material Culture:

The Grande Ballroom in Detroit in 2009, which remains in ruins today (image from Albert duce).

The Grande Ballroom in Detroit in 2009, which remains in ruins today (image from Albert duce).

Music has a rather ephemeral materiality rendered in tangible things like CDs, cassettes, records, and perhaps even digital playlists, but its more compelling archaeological dimension is probably the historical landscapes of clubs and music districts that dot nearly every community.  Local grassroots music tends to be relatively dynamic, but live music holds a tenacious if ever-transforming grip on the landscape: most communities can point to a distinctive soundscape of clubs, impromptu spaces, and places from churches to schools where music was the heart of local experience.

Music has had a profoundly consequential hold on youth culture for most of the last century, but many places’ local musical heritages are in ruins or razed.  The musical landscape is exceptionally dynamic: a parade of fringe styles continually step forward in nearly every place, articulating a host…

View original 2,066 more words

An experiment in bra-making

I have made a few bras previously front securedownload-9 P1030401 all in woven fabrics (which Vera Venus 1940’s bra  http://veravenus.com/patterns-for-purchase/ calls for)

But I like to wear knits too and the seams on these bras make for a pretty ugly look under a tee shirt, so….I thought I would have a go at making a modified version in cotton jersey. The fabric was from a skivvie with 4 way stretch which I sacrified for this project (really, just aiming for a wearable toile).

So, I fused Vera Venus’ pattern to reduce the seam lines reduced the sizing by 1cm all around and proceeded to make it up. DSC_0831 This is the first attempt without any tweaks; there is only one row of elastic at the bottom edge so it wasn’t firm enough and there was gaping under the arm (not visible here), the darts are not great but are a leftover from the original pattern (they were one of the seam lines), so another row of elastic, some more sewing and trimming excess fabric ensued. I was happy with the fit (although the commercially-made bra back is a bit irritating), but it desperately needed prettying-up. A bit of lace poached from an old vest (well past it’s use-by-date) and a touch of ribbon and here it is DSC_0836DSC_0837(sorry about the blurriness). I wore it all day yesterday and it certainly stood up well. Next time, I will make it in a firmer fabric and do something (what???) with the darts :) So nice to make a bra that fits and doesn’t cost a bomb.

As an aside, can anybody suggest what I can to this?  DSC_0835 It cost $4 from the Uniting Church Op-Shop in Dunsborough (free plug- it’s a fantastic store). It is a beautiful Indian cotton voile, but there is just waaaay too much of it. I wore it last summer and sweated horribly. I want to do something a bit more stylish than just taking off the sleeves, so, suggestions anyone?

It is a beautiful Spring-ish day here in Perth, the sun is shining and I feel energised :) I hope you all get the chance to have a lovely Sunday wherever you are x

Daglish cycle path

Walking, plants and other stuff…

As part of my commitment to myself to be more active and also because the parking at my workplace has decreased around 90%, I am commuting by public transport around 4 days a week. On Fridays however, I drive my daughter to school for a 0645 start and then drive on to work, arriving around 0700. The parking is still a problem, even at that time of the day, but I park about 1km away and walk. The walking/cycling path is just lovely at this time of the year, all the wildflowers are starting to bloom and it is a pleasant, albeit cold stroll to the airconditioned office.

download Daglish path 2 a coral tree peeps through. wattlewattle blooms ?grevillea I think this is a grevillea, but I’m not sure bottlebrushbottlebrush

As an aside, this is what my lovely girl brought back for me from her travels

amber from Latvia amber from Latvia (and it is full of bits!)

And I just love this outfit for spring from Sass and Bide

Sass and Bide mmm soooooo yummy!

 

New look?

Dunno about this new theme…other stuff seems more accessible, but it looks a bit bland for my taste.

Feedback if you have an opinion will be appreciated :)

darlington pic

Coup de Foudre

Has it ever happened to you?

Do you have memories of someone you met, for whom the attraction was instant, indefinable and left you breathless?

Was it mutual?

I find myself thinking of that one occasionally and find there is still a little nook in my heart that yearns, even though it was many years ago and we have moved on and have good lives with our own families.

Thinking about it is an exquisite pain, a little itch that gets scratched occasionally and reminds me when I am caught up in the busyness of everyday life, that I have a past and that I have done some stuff.

The past is where it stays.