I live my life now, with occasional dalliances with the past, most of the time I am here in the present. I will at times look at my superannuation account and wonder about my future after retiring, but that is probably 10 years away and I try not to think about it.
Looking after my dear Mum over the past year has taken its toll on an already injured body. Manifesting with severe acute on chronic pain, I have resorted to some heavy analgesics and anti inflammatories. I knew they were not good for me, but caring for someone else makes me turn to the easy option.
Eventually things became too bad and I have been receiving dry needling and physio. Oh, if I could have dry needling twice a week for the rest of my life (and not pay for it), I would be in heaven
My physio is a lovely girl around my daughter’s age. We have come to enjoy the conversation while she is helping my body feel better. We have both talked about our life experiences and she has come to the conclusion that I have had a hard life!
This comes back to my comment about living life now. My life has not really been extraordinary, it’s had it’s good and bad times, pretty much how you would expect 60 years on this planet to yield, however, when someone comments that I am “amazing” because I still smile and find happiness in small things, my thoughts come to a grinding halt.
I discussed this with my daughter as I was puzzled that someone would make this assessment of my life, she very sensibly said that my physio hasn’t been alive long enough.
Sure enough, at 23, my life centred around myself. New clothes, boys I wanted to see, getting enough sleep before going to work, saving up for the next holiday and getting along with the people with whom I was sharing a house. In short, it was a life that had not been challenged by much.
36 years later, I have lived a life of miscarriages and beautiful children, a troubled marriage, financial stress caused by my husband’s gambling, depression and anxiety. It’s been a life of joy and heartache, pride and embarrassment, illness and health, friendships still going and in the past, travel and gardening, reading, and love and working, really, really hard!
You name it, it’s all pretty ordinary in the scheme of things. In a lot of ways, I have had a blessed life and there are many, many people who have done it much harder than me.
I live in a place of abundant food, good water, comfortable shelter, plenty of clothes and stability. I have never had a personal experience of war, famine or persecution.
A blighted life? I think not!