A letter to Tom (the agonies of adolescent romance)

Dear Tom, You are a dear, sweet young man. I know you find C irresistible and you want to be her boyfriend. You have only ever been respectful and generous to her and I am very grateful. I am worried for you though Tom. You see, she doesn’t feel that way about you, she only wants to be friends and she is finding your attention more irritating than anything else. When this happens, I see her being short-tempered with you and I feel sad. Let me tell you a story, it’s a story of me at your age (hard to imagine I know!): When I was 17, I was in love and obsessed with my first boyfriend. There was another lad who waited patiently for things to change (and they did, I was dumped!). The only thing is, things didn’t change between him and me. I didn’t want him and the more he waited, then pursued, the more I didn’t want him. He too, was a lovely, sweet young man, but he wasn’t for me and I am dismayed to say that I abused his friendship and was not very nice to him. C knows this story and she knows that I think her behaviour towards you very similar. Tom, you can’t make someone want you, C will be a loyal friend if you let her. I think you are grand and I hope that you find a girl who likes you as much as you like C, but that girl isn’t C and I think you both deserve to be happier than you are at the moment.

An update…

Dear Tom,

You are a gentleman, thankyou for being so gallant with my daughter. You recognised something was amiss and you gave her an opportunity to be gracious herself. She lacked the courage to be upfront with you initially, but your openness allowed her to express herself without being nasty.

Thankyou for accepting that friendship will be enough, I know you wanted more.

You are a credit to your parents, they should be very proud of you xxx

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